Nancy De Andrade, PhD

How I completely destroyed my confidence and what I did to rebuild it

Have you ever felt like a fraud? Have you ever feared that one day everyone will find out who you truly are, that you don’t know as much, and are not as good as they think?

I have spent countless amount of time and energy making sure that what I say or do is always correct. I thought it was a sign of intelligence and striving to improve myself. I thought it was a challenge to rise above mediocrity and educate myself ad nauseam.

What I didn’t realize was that I was actually relentlessly destroying my self-confidence.

This constant search for the absolute truth was only creating more doubts. The famous saying, “I know one thing, that I know nothing” always rang true. I learned to challenge everything, including my own beliefs, likes and dislikes. I learned to research and study to no end, to the point that I didn’t stand for anything with passion because “there is always another point of view that I might not have considered”.

Heaven forbid I’m wrong! Being wrong was actually deadly in my mind.

It took me many years to realize that I cannot waver in fear just because someone doesn’t agree with me or because I might not know it all. Fear keeps us away from our passion and purpose. Trusting, the opposite of fear, doesn’t mean we don’t make a stand for what we believe, it means letting guidance show us the way.

By relinquishing the need to be right I was able to trust the unfoldment of events as they are meant to occur. Trusting is easy when things go well, not so easy when challenges exist, but when I don’t trust, I lose control; when I try to control, I go into fear -a deadly, nasty, vicious cycle.

I realize that my mission is to stand strong in my belief in Divine Guidance and share my experience of love and light with others. In my practice I try to see my clients’ life from their point of view and try to find the “right” course. In my most powerful sessions, I have relied on my spiritual guidance to find the path that best serves my clients, not the path my mind believes they should follow.

The same way I teach others to trust their guidance, I too must stand in this undeniable truth that we are guided. I have seen miracles happen when I’m in the sanctuary I create for my clients and we surrender to guidance. In that space, there is no right or wrong, but a deep trust that things happen for a reason. In that space it is not about being confident of my own abilities but confident in the Divine guidance we are receiving.

Wishing you confidence, passion, guidance and trust,

Nancy

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