My Story

I’m Dr. Nancy De Andrade and I’d like to share a little bit of the path that led me to embark on this journey of helping others.

When I was 15 years old I wanted desperately to run away from home. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that I was miserable and knew that I could no longer live in such toxic environment.

I had it all planned out. I would move in with my best friend’s family, drop out of school and get a job. I imagined how peaceful and happy my life was finally going to be when I moved away. I couldn’t wait!

But then my friend’s mom said I needed to stay home and figure my life out. Ouch.

Even though it was not the answer I wanted to hear, it was the one I needed to hear, because as hard as it was to live at home with my abusive, helicopter parents, I would have missed the most important lessons of my life. 

What happened in the following years changed me and showed me the path to my purpose (even though I didn’t know it then).

My oldest sister was like a mother to me. As often as she could, she mentored and guided me, and somehow knew I needed help. At the time, she was enrolled in a training program to facilitate workshops about psychology and personal growth. As luck would have it, the program allowed her bring someone to the workshops for free.

Lucky me!

She introduced me to the most transformational workshops on personal growth, self-esteem, communication, personal excellence, meditation, and even retreats! I was exposed to so many valuable experiences that truly changed my life for the better. I became more confident, happier, forgiving, and assertive. Armed with the tools and the thirst for more expansion, I finally moved out at the age of 18. 

However, life was harder than I had envisioned, and I hit a wall.

Out in the world of regular interactions, my assertiveness was mistaken by arrogance, I was wronged for being straight-forward, and was called names for speaking my truth. Even family members would say things like: “Who do you think you are?”, “You think you are better than everyone?” “Don’t throw that psycho-babble at me!” and so much more. 

It was confusing and hurtful, and honestly, I didn’t enjoy feeling rejected and isolated, so I  conformed to belong”, and adapted to my current environment and culture. I became extra careful with my words so people would not get hurt (or hurt me), I tiptoed around others, I “toned-down” my personality, and became a people pleaser,  making sure everyone was happy… everyone except me.

Unknowingly, I became codependent.

It struck me one day, when I was visiting my brother. He frankly pointed out that I was not the same happy person he remembered. He said I looked worried and much too serious. The reality was that I felt unhappy, insecure, anxious, and stuck. 

Inspired by this epiphany, (and feeling tired of living depressed and anxious), I set course to learn a more comprehensive and holistic approach to take charge of my mind, body, and spirit. I hired a mentor, attended countless workshops, and even went back to school to complete a PhD in Psychology.  

I learned as much as I could about the body-mind connection, codependency, self-esteem, healthy communication, boundaries, spirituality, mindfulness and so much more. I became obsessed with self-awareness and personal growth and applied this knowledge in my years of practicing psychology.

As I implemented what I learned, my life improved. I started my own coaching practice and became more confident about my talents and skills, more assertive in my approach, and more clear in my requests. I learned the right way to set boundaries, the most effective way to speak one’s truth, the most compassionate way to engage with others, and the most loving way to treat one’s self.

I continue to share the specific strategies I find most effective with my clients. They benefit greatly as I provided them with cutting-edge, holistic techniques to improve their body, mind, and spirit. I’m blessed to continue to witness amazing transformations, and see many of my clients go from feeling insecure, depressed, anxious, and taking a passive role in their lives, to feeling confident, empowered, loving, clear and enlightened.

I know my journey doesn’t end here. My purpose is to continue learning and sharing this knowledge with as many people as I can. My aspiration is to make an impact in the lives of hundreds of thousands of people and help them experience a more empowered and authentic life filled with love and confidence. 

My journey continues and I would like for you to be a part of it. Would you join me?

Sign up here

 

Taking it personally

What a lesson I learned! After writing an article about not taking things personally, my Daughter and motherdaughter changed plans on me and I got mad. I tried expressing my feelings of hurt to her but that didn’t go very well. We ended up fighting and me feeling like a hypocrite. What went wrong? Why did I take it personally? What can I learn from this? What can I preach to myself that can help me change this feeling of frustration?

I replayed the conversation over and over in my mind trying to look for clues as to what I should have done differently.

I realized that, first of all, I didn’t feel heard so, I pretended to have a conversation with her (in my mind). I explained to her, with much vulnerability, all of the things I have done and sacrificed for her arrival, not to make her feel guilty but to identify why her actions had affected me so much. I quickly realized that I was acting in a codependent mode and that I needed to release attachment to the way things needed to be.

Ouch! What a lesson! I am so glad I was able to play it out in my mind before I laid on her guilt trips. I will share with her the lessons and growth.

So, of course my article had to include this painful piece and the awareness that came with it.

I chose to believe that every person is innately good (including myself) and I look for that in every interaction and every conversation I have with others. I’m not naive nor a saint. I just make a choice. Daily. It’s not an easy choice because all around us we are bombarded with reasons why we shouldn’t trust people or why the world is evil.

I chose to give the benefit of the doubt because each person, in their own eyes, is right. We just haven’t had the chance to hear each other, or we just simply reject their opinion because it’s different from ours. Values are important, don’t get me wrong; they keep order and respect in a community.

The difference I want to point out here is, we can take things personally or we can try to understand and see if there is common ground. This requires openness of mind. To hear each other’s point of view without judgment or preconceived ideas is a monumental task. Just because something doesn’t match our values or beliefs doesn’t mean it’s wrong, we just have to find what benefits all.

This task requires that we look deep within and take responsibility for our feelings, actions, beliefs, and judgments. It requires that we recognize our part in everything we do, say or create. If we take it personal, we blame and judge, we stop listening and become victims. If we suspend judgment, acknowledge our own process, and attempt to see things from different points of view or perspectives, change and co-creation happens. Freedom happens.

If we wait for others to change so we can feel better, then we are placing control of our life, emotions and outcomes in the hands of somebody or something else and we relinquish responsibility for our own life. Your life is yours. How you choose to experience it is your choice. You can chose to take things personal and feel victimized or you can choose to be the co-creator of your experience and manifest what you desire most.

What would you choose?

I chose love.