How I completely destroyed my confidence and what I did to rebuild it

Have you ever felt like a fraud? Have you ever feared that one day everyone will find out who you truly are, that you don’t know as much, and are not as good as they think?

I have spent countless amount of time and energy making sure that what I say or do is always correct. I thought it was a sign of intelligence and striving to improve myself. I thought it was a challenge to rise above mediocrity and educate myself ad nauseam.

What I didn’t realize was that I was actually relentlessly destroying my self-confidence.

This constant search for the absolute truth was only creating more doubts. The famous saying, “I know one thing, that I know nothing” always rang true. I learned to challenge everything, including my own beliefs, likes and dislikes. I learned to research and study to no end, to the point that I didn’t stand for anything with passion because “there is always another point of view that I might not have considered”.

Heaven forbid I’m wrong! Being wrong was actually deadly in my mind.

It took me many years to realize that I cannot waver in fear just because someone doesn’t agree with me or because I might not know it all. Fear keeps us away from our passion and purpose. Trusting, the opposite of fear, doesn’t mean we don’t make a stand for what we believe, it means letting guidance show us the way.

By relinquishing the need to be right I was able to trust the unfoldment of events as they are meant to occur. Trusting is easy when things go well, not so easy when challenges exist, but when I don’t trust, I lose control; when I try to control, I go into fear -a deadly, nasty, vicious cycle.

I realize that my mission is to stand strong in my belief in Divine Guidance and share my experience of love and light with others. In my practice I try to see my clients’ life from their point of view and try to find the “right” course. In my most powerful sessions, I have relied on my spiritual guidance to find the path that best serves my clients, not the path my mind believes they should follow.

The same way I teach others to trust their guidance, I too must stand in this undeniable truth that we are guided. I have seen miracles happen when I’m in the sanctuary I create for my clients and we surrender to guidance. In that space, there is no right or wrong, but a deep trust that things happen for a reason. In that space it is not about being confident of my own abilities but confident in the Divine guidance we are receiving.

Wishing you confidence, passion, guidance and trust,

Nancy

Creating a protective shield

Simple ways to create a protective shield for intense situations, emotions or negativity.

Shields of protection meditation

Protecting Your Energy

Tips about protecting yourself from unwelcomed entities and energies.

Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo

I don’t call myself a Yogi, Buddhist, Christian or any other religious or spiritual association. I am an explorer of spiritual life and I practice what works for me. I believe that there have been wise men and women who came to share with us how to connect with our highest self and experience divine love, regardless of religion. These enlightened beings are what some people call the Ascended Masters, Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, Saint Germain, Mother Mary, Sanat Kumara, Amma and many more.

I want to share a Kundalini Yoga mantra I connected with this weekend. The vibration of this chant touched the depth of my body and soul. I recorded what vibrated for me (I’m not a singer). I hope it inspires you to chant as well.

Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo

When you chant this mantra you are calling for the highest vibration to be present within you and around you. These sacred words carry a particular energetic vibration and only your own voice can match a specific frequency that connects you to that energetic link between you and All-That-Is.
One translation of this mantra is: “I honor the All-That-Is. I honor the Divine wisdom within myself” (similar to Namaste).
Chant this mantra before your yoga practice or any time you want to vibrate high and tap into the energetic grid of wisdom available to all.

 

havenofear

Perfection is a lie.

Even when trying to write this I’m aware of my fear of misspellings and imperfections (thank goodness for auto-correct).

Perfection is an illusion.

Something we all strive for but nobody gets.

Read the full article here

 

Winter Solstice Vision Board and Weekly Meditations

The weekend before the solstice, (Dec 19 in Spanish and Dec 20th in English) I’ll be facilitating a workshop, Creating an Energized Vision Board. In addition, weekly meditations will start every Monday at 6:30pm in my office in La Jolla. Limited seating.

weavesilkWinter’s Solstice is a time for celebration of the light. It is the darkest time of the year and marks the rebirth of the light, a great opportunity for renewal and manifestation.

In this workshop we’ll focus on enhancing the energetic flow of words, images, and symbols to match our highest vibration. We’ll meditate and tune in to Divine Guidance to assist in creating a board that reflects our inner light and wisdom and we’ll connect with our soul’s guidance to show us what it is in our highest interest to create for ourselves and for humanity.

Limited spaces available since this will be an intensely focused experience. Address will be sent upon confirmation of your participation. Location is Rancho Santa Fe, CA.

info@NancyDeAndrade.com

Taking it personally

What a lesson I learned! After writing an article about not taking things personally, my Daughter and motherdaughter changed plans on me and I got mad. I tried expressing my feelings of hurt to her but that didn’t go very well. We ended up fighting and me feeling like a hypocrite. What went wrong? Why did I take it personally? What can I learn from this? What can I preach to myself that can help me change this feeling of frustration?

I replayed the conversation over and over in my mind trying to look for clues as to what I should have done differently.

I realized that, first of all, I didn’t feel heard so, I pretended to have a conversation with her (in my mind). I explained to her, with much vulnerability, all of the things I have done and sacrificed for her arrival, not to make her feel guilty but to identify why her actions had affected me so much. I quickly realized that I was acting in a codependent mode and that I needed to release attachment to the way things needed to be.

Ouch! What a lesson! I am so glad I was able to play it out in my mind before I laid on her guilt trips. I will share with her the lessons and growth.

So, of course my article had to include this painful piece and the awareness that came with it.

I chose to believe that every person is innately good (including myself) and I look for that in every interaction and every conversation I have with others. I’m not naive nor a saint. I just make a choice. Daily. It’s not an easy choice because all around us we are bombarded with reasons why we shouldn’t trust people or why the world is evil.

I chose to give the benefit of the doubt because each person, in their own eyes, is right. We just haven’t had the chance to hear each other, or we just simply reject their opinion because it’s different from ours. Values are important, don’t get me wrong; they keep order and respect in a community.

The difference I want to point out here is, we can take things personally or we can try to understand and see if there is common ground. This requires openness of mind. To hear each other’s point of view without judgment or preconceived ideas is a monumental task. Just because something doesn’t match our values or beliefs doesn’t mean it’s wrong, we just have to find what benefits all.

This task requires that we look deep within and take responsibility for our feelings, actions, beliefs, and judgments. It requires that we recognize our part in everything we do, say or create. If we take it personal, we blame and judge, we stop listening and become victims. If we suspend judgment, acknowledge our own process, and attempt to see things from different points of view or perspectives, change and co-creation happens. Freedom happens.

If we wait for others to change so we can feel better, then we are placing control of our life, emotions and outcomes in the hands of somebody or something else and we relinquish responsibility for our own life. Your life is yours. How you choose to experience it is your choice. You can chose to take things personal and feel victimized or you can choose to be the co-creator of your experience and manifest what you desire most.

What would you choose?

I chose love.